It sucks, doesn't it?
When you see your partner off. You feel sad knowing much time and many miles will separate you.
How you cope with being apart can mean the difference between a satisfying successful LDR or a stressful unsuccessful one.
You deserve a successful LDR.
In part one we laid the foundation for a successful long-distance relationship so that it can actually be good for you.
Now, let’s go deeper into...
And more. Let's start...
When the distance is closed and we're living together, we see each other more often and it's easy to not fully appreciate those times – when we're apart I very much look forward to our limited time together.
Looking forward to these times with my significant other is a key ingredient to happiness.
And that causes me to put more effort into making our time together special – each and every time.
We have special “date nights,” small tokens of love (letters, cards, little care packages) - a further key to our success – which I'll discuss in future blogs.
It's so easy in today's world to expect everything instantly. Patience is an important skill in your LDR. It's not so easy to instantly see your partner, to be with him or her physically can be a major undertaking.
Without patience, it's very easy to become frustrated and stressed. That's not a good condition to be in during your everyday life and can make you argumentative or small things.
With patience, it's easier to take a long-term view of your relationship and everyday challenges. And it's especially critical if you have kids.
Patience is even more critical if you have a “patchwork LDR,” meaning you each have kids from previous marriages. Things may move forward more slowly, and resolving custody and visitation issues can be a real challenge taking time to work out.
Since you can't spend as much time with your partner, you should exercise, read, spend time with friends/family and so on. Whatever you find personally rewarding.
It's important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Doing things for yourself will help you develop into an emotionally well-rounded person. And that will take pressure off being apart, plus allow you to be yourself, communicate more effectively, manage your LDR situation, and enjoy your partner.
face it, when many miles separate you from your SO, you must live at a level of independence. Developing it can be tough because often only you alone can deal with many problems – be it family, car, house, taking your child to the Dr, and more.
I'll offer suggestions for developing independence in future blogs.
Use these suggestions (plus those in parts one and three), you'll persevere and succeed in your LDR. It'll provide you with a high level of satisfaction.
If you can persevere and succeed when you're apart - being together will be that much better.
The final key to success in this part is what professionals call “The Communication Trigger,” because it triggers deeper communication.
It's simple but takes some practice. When asking the questions we'll cover in part three, you ask “why” several times. You'll go much deeper into what's important.
You can mix in other variations of asking why – asking “why” over and over can be tedious. Variations can include: what's important about (the answer given), or what does it mean to you, or what do you mean by, etc.
I'll start part three by giving examples of how to use communication triggers when asking questions.
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In part three we'll also discuss the seven most important questions to ask early in your LDR to improve the odds of success – compiled by a rare study of LDR couples...
I'm looking forward to seeing you then.
Wishing you greater LDR success.