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How much time and distance can your LDR tolerate?
Long Distance Relationship
How much time and distance can your LDR tolerate?
June 14, 2021
1 min

... and how can you help it succeed?

Currently sobbing at 4 am because I miss his touch and I miss him. How can I bear it, or maybe I never will?

Just a few hours ago I saw this message.

The distance separating you and your SO partner can sometimes seem intolerable. Like watching a ship sailing off in the distance as you sit on dry land.

Being physically close and touching your partner is key to a successful serious long-term relationship.

The three types of touch

We can distinguish between three types of touch: Direct, indirect, and virtual touch. The connection between these types of touch is significant because any one of them can give a similar feeling.

The best is usually direct touch when you and your SO personally physically touch your bodies. That requires zero distance separation. Not practical during your LDR.

However, the two other types of touch also play a key role in emotional closeness. For example, during war soldiers often touch pictures of their SO and family. This provides emotional stimulation even though they may be thousands of miles apart.

Indirect touch is the next best type of touch. This is where a tool like SenzyBee transfers your touch in real-time. As you touch slowly and softly, so does the tool. As you increase speed and intensity, so does the tool.

Combine SenzyBee touch with video and audio, your imagination tricks the brain, you actually stimulate the brain's receptors. Because our brain does not feel a huge difference between “real life” and imagination or fantasy.

Finally, there's virtual touch. We've come a long way since WWII soldiers touch pictures of their SO. For example, you can touch your phone screen while talking with your partner. This also can communicate the feeling of touch to your brain. But virtual touch is not as effective as the above direct or indirect touch.

True commitment stays together even when you're apart.

Being in love often takes patience. And the romantic heart becomes impatient – especially when you're apart. However setting up specific timetables of when and how you will communicate (adding impromptu goodies), and knowing when you will close the distance, can satisfy the romantic heart to some extent.

Balancing and satisfying patient and impatient hearts is key

Although you may be ready to wait “till the end of time,” knowing specifically the time you'll be (back) together with your partner can give you the strength of calmness to make do with tools like video, audio, and alternative forms of touch until you are in each other's arms.

So, how much geographical distance can you tolerate?

Geographic closeness has long been considered essential to serious relationships. In the past, most couples found their partner nearby. I did make the relationship a little simpler.

Today relationships develop with little regard to geographic distance from each other. This may be because of work, family, or having discovered each other on the internet, or while on vacation far away.

Now, LDRs enjoy a higher rate of success than ever before. In large part, because they have and use video, phone, and text more than ever.

Experts agree, more and more couples will use remote touch during their LDRs

And they expect remote touch will help bridge the distance in your relationship.

Given the above considerations, you can tolerate greater and greater physical distance, whilst maintaining your emotional closeness.

This requires making the best use of the available communication tools.

Still, not everyone can stand long physical distances for extended periods. Optimizing all the variables needs to take into account personal and circumstantial factors.

But they will be able to maintain an LDR more easily, at greater distances, and for longer than ever before.

Wishing you a better long-distance relationship,



SenzyBee Psychologist

I live in a long distance relationship with my husband and our two children. I'm developing new techniques such as “distance touch adaption” to make your (and my) LDR more enjoyable and successful


Eleven years providing life therapy-counselling
Plus supporting HR relations for businesses
Hobbies: archery and heavy metal/rock concerts

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